He, She, It?
by Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: Shizuo drank something he found in Shinra's fridge and now he has to pretend to be someone he isn't. As the newly christened Shizuka, he tries to avoid Izaya at all costs. Unfortunately, the bastard can't take a hint and poor Shizuka finds himself falling for the person he hates most. Bastard ruined everything. A/N: DEFINITELY YAOI. Shizuo turns into a guy by the end. Don't worry.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, people! I'm on a Durarara kick this week! New idea. Don't worry, this _is_ a YAOI story.**

**I don't own Durarara.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

Shizuo Heiwajima never liked violence. He never wanted to hurt people. He never wanted to lose his mind. He never intentionally tried to do damage unless he was attacked or he was looking at Izaya Orihara.

However, today was the day he legitimately wanted to hurt someone who didn't hurt him first. That in fact, had never hurt him in the past. The very first time he wanted to do damage to a complete innocent.

Since they didn't have a _direct_ hand in what happened, they were technically innocent and he knew this very well. But he wanted to pin the blame on someone and since Izaya was nowhere to be found, he had to settle on this person. His friend. His creepy, lab coat wearing friend. His creepy, lab coat wearing friend who was in love with a headless female of some species not yet 'truly' discovered. Said friend was about to be pummeled.

"**SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

The long and drawn out sound of his friend's name coming from his throat, terrified the bespectacled man. Shizuo briefly realized it didn't feel as good to scream Shinra's name as it did Izaya's.**(A/N: If you know what I mean! XD )**

"N-now Sh-shizuo, y-you don't w-want to d-do anything d-drastic, d-do y-you?!" Shinra yelled in horror as he moved around the large table, hoping to put some distance between them.

The former bartender scoffed and grasped the table with a firm hand, flipping it out of the way and not caring that it smashed into the wall and left a dent in its wake. He was still going for the underground doctor. Said doctor was going to pay.

"W-we might b-be able t-to fix th-this!" the smaller man squeaked as he pushed chairs in between them, trying to keep far from the irate bodyguard.

"**MIGHT?!**" the blonde roared.

Shinra cowered as he was backed into the corner and had nothing to defend himself with.

"**YOU'RE SAYING THAT I **_**MIGHT **_**BE ABLE TO BE FIXED?! YOU DON'T ACTUALLY **_**KNOW**_**?!**"

"I'm sorry!"

Before Shizuo could actually get his hands on the scrawny little bastard, his movement was suddenly impeded. He couldn't move. What was going on?!

He struggled against the unknown force that was holding him back from pounding Shinra's skull in, but to no avail. He just couldn't move anything but his head.

Celty appeared to his right and he suddenly understood what was going on. She had intervened.

"Celty! Thank goodness you're here!" Shinra said, dodging under Shizuo's outstretched arm in order to throw his arms around her shoulders. "He's been trying to kill me for the last five minutes!"

She began to type something on her PDA and showed it to him.

He blanched, "I didn't do anything!"

"**YES HE DID!**" Shizuo yelled, still pissed off. "**LOOK AT WHAT HE DID TO ME!**"

Shizuo would never understand how Celty could perceive everything around her even though she didn't have a head. But he wasn't questioning it in that moment because as she looked closer, she could definitely 'see' what was wrong with him.

Her fingers blurred on the PDA and she shoved it in Shinra's face.

"No! It wasn't me! He just drank that _milk_ in the fridge!"

She typed some more.

"I didn't think I'd have to label it!"

More typing.

"I know it's his favorite drink!"

The tapping of the keyboard filled the silence.

"B-but I-I-"

"**AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!**" Shizuo yelled, getting annoyed and renewing his struggles. The black mass holding him still gave away a little and he saw Celty jump in shock. She then moved her hand in a complicated looking maneuver, making the shadows tighten around him even more.

He growled.

She typed for a few more minutes, most likely berating Shinra for his careless actions. Seriously, why didn't he mark it as an experiment? He knew Shizuo liked strawberry milk. You don't put an experiment in the container of a drink you know your friend likes, leave it in the fridge and tell them to get whatever they want for a drink when they visit your house!

"I know, I know!" Shinra sighed. "I'm sorry Shizuo!"

"Piss off!" the blonde hissed.

Celty's PDA was dangling in front of his face.

**{Please calm down, Shizuo! We'll make Shinra fix this, don't worry! At least you're still good looking! :) }**

"'Good looking'?"

Shinra nodded, "Yes. If I wasn't enamored with my sweet Celty, I may even be interested."

Shizuo glared at the doctor, making the man cower.

**{We'll go get you some new clothes. How about that? Get you away from Shinra for a while?}**

"Fine."

Celty did not release him immediately. Actually she carried him, still wrapped in the black mass, outside the apartment. Once they were in the garage, she released him and he shook himself off. Shinra was a lucky bastard. If Celty wasn't so smart, he wouldn't be alive.

The ex bartender pulled off his sunglasses and placed them in his trouser's pocket. His vest and white dress shirt were torn down the front, exposing his new _accessories_.

Breasts.

Two extremely _large_ breasts stood out from his pale chest. He was also missing something big and important to him in between his legs. To finish it off, his hair was now waist length, since it had grown suddenly and his face was girlier. The problem with that, was that he was a girl now and his head was now two different colors!

He was a bottle blonde. His hair was dyed. But now his hair from the crown of his head to his newly rounded shoulders, was brown while the bottom was blonde. Two-toned. Ugh.

Celty held out her PDA. **{Would you like me to cover you up?}**

"Sure," he agreed, thinking of the time she made him those gloves to protect his hands in that fight.

Black encased his torso and suddenly, his torn clothing was replaced with a black tube top, he was sure that was what they were called. He didn't care for fashion all that much. Kasuka's chosen clothes for him were all he needed.

He looked down, annoyed that he couldn't see his feet anymore. The damn things were fucking heavy! He found himself respecting women a lot more if they carried things like these around all the damn time!

**{You'll need to get measured too.}**

"Measured?" he asked, completely lost.

**{Your breast size. I'll take you to a women's apparel store and you tell the service lady in the undergarments section that you don't know what size bra you wear. She'll help you.}**

"Women have to go through this shit?"

**{Yes. She'll be able to help you get the right sized clothing as well.}**

"Fine then."

Shizuo sat on the back of the motorcycle, wishing he/she/it, whatever he was now, had a smoke. He needed nicotine!

Celty dropped him off in front of some store with a lot of pink in the window.

**{Here you go. I'll be back in half an hour.}**

Shizuo took the proffered wallet and waved as he entered the store.

He looked around, trying to find the bra section. Though he wasn't one for shopping, he at least knew the basics. Bras, panties and then normal clothing. In that order.

He found the woman he needed near the back of the store and explained that he didn't know what 'size' he was. She looked him up and down, her eyes getting really wide.

She then asked if his breasts were real.

He didn't even know women could get fake ones. You learn something new every day.

"Yes."

She rushed off and came back with two other women in tow. As they all spoke in hushed whispers and while that was going on, Shizuo was taking in the fact that he was huge!

Like, half a foot or _more_ taller than them. It was rare to come across women in Asia who were five and a half feet tall, let alone one inch over six feet! He towered over them. And he also noticed that his...'breasts' were larger.

The women surrounded him and one of them had a flexible tape measure of some sort.

The next ten minutes was spent with him being shoved into a changing stall to try on all manner of bras, white dress shirts and black vests. He was still going for his normal dressing style.

His 'breasts' were too damn big. Like an anime. How many normal women had a 52 FFF bra size?**(A/N: Think like, Rangiku Matsumoto from Bleach. That thin but his new breasts are that big.)** He couldn't see beneath them, which meant that he would have to constantly check mirrors to see if he got anything on his clothes. Being a woman sucked.

By the time he was finished, he had five white dress shirts, five black vests, five mid-thigh length black pencil skirts, five pairs of black panty hose and two pairs of black shoes. Flats and wedge heels, or whatever the women told him they were. He didn't care, so long as he had clothes that fit.

To accompany the clothes, he got a new pair of sunglasses, in black. If Izaya saw him, he didn't want the bastard to make a connection that he was Shizuo. Celty would have to help him pick out a new name. Dammit, this was like cosplaying. Annoying.

When he finally left the store, he noticed that Celty wasn't here yet and he got an idea. He was holding Shinra's wallet. Payback was a bitch.

After a quick stop in the nearby pharmacy, Shizuo left feeling good. Three bottles of black hair dye and a box of blue colored contacts were in his bag. The blond hair of his was a dead give away in Ikebukuro and drew the attention of everyone. Black would let him blend in. And if he took his glasses off at some point at Izaya saw his eyes, he didn't want the bastard to see his real eyes and ask if he was related to himself or not. Ugh!

Celty was parked in front of the store she had dropped him off in and the people around her were pointing. He rushed on over, hopped on the back and they took off into the darkness of Ikebukuro.

* * *

Shizuo Heiwajima, now named Shizuka Hei**(A/N: **_**Shizuo **_**means 'quiet' and **_**Shizuka **_**also means 'quiet'. **_**Heiwajima **_**means 'peaceful island' and **_**Hei **_**means 'warrior'.)**, had never been so pissed off after just walking through the city. Seriously, were all men pigs? He was groped four times in the last hour alone, putting each man through a wall soon after. Catcalls and innuendos left and right. He didn't do shit like that with women, so what the hell was wrong with the men of Ikebukuro?!

Or was it the fact that they weren't _real _men? Shizuka knew for a fact that Shinra, Kadota and his gang, Kasuka, Simon and even that bastard Izaya, didn't pull shit like that with women. What the hell?

He shifted his now black hair over his shoulder, getting it out of his face. Maybe he should put it up in a ponytail or something.

Shizuka looked around, noticing how much taller he was than everyone around him. He should have worn the flats instead. The four extra inches on the wedges made him stand out even more. Damn his height!

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, along with his new lighter. He lit the end and took a long drag, relaxing at the flavor. Nothing like a good cigarette to get his mind off things.

He sighed as the wind blew and carried the puff of smoke away.

The former blonde crossed the street and headed for Russia Sushi. Since he didn't have work, which Shinra had to inform Tom that he wasn't 'well', he had nothing to do but walk around the city. So, sushi time it was.

Shizuka let out another girly sigh. Simon was up ahead, waving flyers around.

"Long time no see! You like sushi? Sushi good!"

Shizuka took the moment to admire Simon's height, now that he was a lot closer in height to the large man. Simon _had_ to be over seven feet tall. The guy was gigantic, dwarfing Shizuka's six feet, five inches easily.

He shrugged, "Sure."

"Enjoy!"

Shizuka entered the establishment and sat at the bar in front of Simon's boss. He ordered some sushi and tea. He then took the sweetener for the tea and poured half in the drink and the other half on the raw fish, seaweed and rice combo. He proceeded to eat it that way, ignoring the man's unnerved look.

"Well that's certainly an odd way to eat sushi!~"

Shizuka nearly stiffened at the voice, but managed to hold himself back. He didn't even turn to acknowledge the bastard. Maybe if he pretended to be deaf, Izaya would take the hint and leave Shizuka alone!

"Hello?!~"

_Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! Don't react! It's so much easier to ignore him now that I'm a girl!_

Truly it was. At the moment, Shizuka didn't feel like putting the asshole's face through a wall. He was annoyed, but not enough to cause violence, which he hated. Did women have an easier time managing their anger than men?

_If that's the case, maybe this whole being a girl thing won't be so bad._

He continued to successfully ignore the bastard for the remainder of his stay and when he got the bill, he paid, stood and signed the only Japanese Sign Language he knew, in hopes that the fluffy coat wearing asshole would get the hint. '_Thank you_'.

He then stalked from the shop without a backwards glance.

His hopes were dashed when the bastard skipped up beside him, a takeout box in his one hand. With his other, he did something and Shizuka had no idea what he was doing.

Izaya twirled in front of him, cutting off his gait. "Don't you know Sign Language?"

Shizuka sighed, knowing that there was no way around it. "I was hoping you'd shut up if I didn't respond," he stated bluntly as he checked his nails.

Izaya placed a hand to his heart and gave him a hurt look that he just knew was fake. "I only wanted to get to know such a lovely lady."

Shizuka couldn't hold back a scoff. Yeah right. Like that was _all _Izaya wanted to do. More like he wanted to get information so he could stalk the giant. Creep.

"Not interested," he mumbled, walking around the shorter male and continuing on his way. He felt proud that he was able to reign himself in and not inflict damage on anyone or anything in the area. Victory. He waved to Simon as he passed him and nodded to the man's invitation for more sushi later on.

As he was walking, he heard Izaya ask Simon, "Simon, have you seen Shizu-chan at all lately?"

"Shizuo not been around here in days."

Shizuka cursed inwardly. Now the flea would be bugging everyone he knew about him! Dammit!

* * *

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

Shizuo fell off the bed and grabbed for his cell, dialing Shinra's number in haste.

"Shizuo, what's wrong? It's five in the morning," the idiot answered.

"**I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU SHINRA! I'M BLEEDING OUT OF PLACES THAT SHOULDN'T BE BLEEDING!**"

**A/N: First chapter is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

*******Check out my other stories!_ Ikebukuro Miko_(Durarara/Inuyasha. Kagome/Kasuka, Izaya/Shizuo)_A Miko's Divergence_(Divergent/Inuyasha), _Madness_(Naruto/Inuyasha- Kagome/anyone O/S), _Kagome's Hobbit(The Hobbit/Inuyasha- Kagome/Bilbo), All Because of a Golden Flower(The Hobbit/Inuyasha- Kagome/Smaug), Kawaii Chibi Chara_(Shugo Chara/Inuyash- O/S), _It's My Life_(Inuyasha- Sesshomaru/Kagome), _King of Knights_(Vampire Knight/Inuyasha- Kaname/Kagome), _Jikan no Kami, Kagome_(Kamisama Hajimemashita/Inuyasha- Harem/Kagome), _Fire and Ice_(Avatar TLA/Inuyasha- Zuko/Kagome), _None But Himself can be His Parallel_(OHSHC/Inuyasha- Kaora/Kagome/Hikaru), _The Miko and Her Weapon_(Soul Eater/Inuyasha- Kid/Kagome), _**The Cicatrices Beneath the Veil**_**(Sasuke/Naruko recently updated), **_**Diminishing Orange Flame**_**(Naruko/Kakashi ongoing), **_**Problems**_**(Sasuke/Naruto ongoing), **_**Tabu Sensei**_**(Sakura/Kakashi ongoing), **_**The Rest is Still Unwritten**_**(Kakashi/Sakura ongoing), ************_Surge de Hydra_(SLASH, complete) Tom/Harry. _It's Okay Now_(SLASH, ongoing) Tom/Harry/Draco. _Friend or More?_(SLASH, ongoing) Tom/Harry. _Her Eyes_(ongoing) femHarry/Snape. _What's in a Name?_(ongoing) femHarry/Tom, _The Lonely_(SLASH, ongoing) Harry/Cedric and _Harry Potter and the Vampire's Ring_(SLASH, ongoing) Harry/Severus.**************_**  
**_**

**Ja ne! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Durarara.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

Being a woman sucked. There was a whole list of things that he couldn't take and it went like…

-**Breasts** were so fucking huge, his back ached. Constant use of painkillers and heating pads.

-**Monthly** brought on unimaginable amounts of pain and cramps. Also, he was bleeding and had to earn how to use 'pads'. And not just one a day, but constantly, maybe three to four times a day.

-**Sexual Harassment** was rampant. Shizuka wanted to punch every guy he saw. Every fucking one. Maybe castrate them while he was at it. No more fucking groping and unwanted comments. Ugh!

-**Arguing** because he knew he was right and wouldn't stop talking until the other person in the argument admitted they were wrong.

-**Hair** always getting in the way of everything and wanting nothing more than to chop it off. But then again it did make him look good, so for the sake of his appearance he let it be. Then there was the cleaning it thing. It got oily too damn fast.

-**Weight** was fluctuating madly. Women had slower metabolisms, he knew this well enough. This also meant that he actually had to _start working out_! Why? Because he couldn't eat as much candy and sweets as he wanted like he did when his body was male. Because of the lifting heavy objects all the time and chasing Izaya through the city, Shizuka had always maintained a perfect weight. Now though, he wasn't as easy to piss of and he hadn't chased anyone in weeks, but was still eating his stash of candy. He gained weight and went through hell to lose it. That sucked.

-**Running** drew attention to his breasts. Hit himself in the eye once, it hurt a lot.

-**Stairs**, because he always had to hold the damn things known as breasts down while walking up or down a flight.

-**Hygiene** was a pain in the ass, because he had to learn to shave places he had never shaved before.

-**Heels** were demons to walk in. His feet always killed him after wearing them!

-**Facials** made him want to punch the mirror in the bathroom. Though he had never been a vain person, Shizuka never had to be vain because his skin was always perfect but now, he had to put on face masks and do cleansing treatments in order to properly maintain clear skin. It was a nightmare!

-**Manicures and Pedicures**, felt like violations of privacy. Shizuka had never _let _anyone close enough to his feet or hands, except Shinra and Celty. But not normal people. He was on edge the entire time, ready to kick someone's ass if they tried anything.

-**Waxing**, which he absolutely refused to have done. Brazilians(the most painful sounding thing in the world) were definitely out of the question.

-**Douche**, enough said.

Honestly, if this is what it took to be a woman, Shizuka was glad that he was born a man. All this shit just to make sure they good before going outside wasn't worth it in his opinion. All the pain in order to keep themselves clean and presentable, he shuddered. Women had it rough.

And even though he hated most everything on that list, he did most everything on said list. Why? Because he couldn't stand not being presentable.

The last month was…..memorable.

No matter how many times he encountered Izaya, he had yet to put the flea through a fence! Honestly, it felt great not wanting to kill people all the time.

Speaking of Izaya, he was annoying as fuck. But not in the normal way, if that made any sense. No. The bastard followed him around whenever he caught sight of Shizuka walking around town. Since Shizuka hadn't actually talked to him at all, he didn't have any information on him yet. Which was good.

The bastard liked challenges though. And apparently he saw Shizuka as a challenge for him to figure out. A puzzle. Fuck him!

"Well if it isn't the mysterious stranger!~ I see you aren't wearing those heels today!~"

_Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now! Kill me now! _

"Are you ever going to tell me who you are?~ A name at least?~ Please?~"

Shizuka looked to the shorter man. Wow, Izaya was really short. He never really noticed past all the wanting to kill the bastard thing. But _damn_ Izaya was shorter than even Kasuka!

Those burgundy eyes, _an odd color_, Shizuka thought. They were watching him closely. Pleadingly.

"...Shizuka," he finally relented.

Those eyes sparkled intensely and he shivered for some unknown reason. It must have been because of how creepy Izaya was. Yeah, that was it.

"_Shizuka_,~" the flea drawled, looked positively devilish. "How lovely!~"

Shizuka rolled his eyes behind his shades and walked around the asshole, hoping to get as far away from him as possible.

Izaya caught up with him though. Dammit!

"You do a lot of walking around Ikebukuro, Zuka-chan!~ I'd call you Shizu-chan, but I already have a Shizu-chan in my life and you aren't anything like him!~ Anyway, do you ever go anywhere or are you walking for fun?~"

"Exercise," he grunted, wishing that he could find Shinra and pound his face in for doing this to the bodyguard.

Izaya followed him into a nearby minimart and watched as he purchased a bottle of water.

"Want to try our new shipment of Moo Milk, it's a rising success?!" the cashier asked, pointing to a cooler beside the register, that was full of milk bottles.

Shizuka sneered, "I'm never drinking milk again. Bad past experiences with a friend who likes to experiment and not tell me before I drink it."

He left the shop after paying and continued on his way. Izaya was still tailing him. He wondered how long the bastard was going to be following him around. It was pretty damn annoying.

Shizuka sighed and took a seat on a nearby park bench, crossing his right leg over his left and relaxing a little. Well, as much as he could with Izaya in his presence.

"Zuka-chan, what are your likes and dislikes?~"

He sighed and decided to humor he flea, especially since his answers had changed recently.

"I hate doctors," he mumbled, thinking about Shinra. "I like cigarettes and candy. Recently, I've developed a hatred for milk and disgust for most males I see."

He did not say _men_. Because to be a man, you had to pass a few requirements and most of the pigs walking around the city with tiny dicks between their legs, were not _real _men.

"Well, I'm Izaya Orihara and I like fatty tuna and my lovely humans.~ I'm not fond of sweets, I dislike Shizu-chan on occasion, though not always. Do not tell him that he'll hold it over my head forever!~ And the eyes of dead fish unnerve me!~"

Shizuka was momentarily stunned over the not hating Shizuo part. The flea really didn't hate him? Just disliked him from time to time? Odd. If that was the case, why was the bastard always starting shit?

"Well, Zuka-chan, it's been a real pleasure, but I have an appointment that I can't miss!~" Izaya said, standing. "See you!~"

Shizuka watched him go and let loose a relieved sigh. The bastard was so confusing sometimes.

* * *

"Why does it matter?!"

Shizuka was currently holding Shinra up by his lapels, trying to get information out of him. The doctor wasn't being too forthcoming though and it was pissing him off!

"W-well it w-would help me see how much of you has changed, you know? Like, are you completely female now or not?"

Shizuka glared, "You aren't putting your hands anywhere near me down there!"

Celty was not paying them any mind. She sat comfortably on the sofa, watching television. She didn't seem to care that Shizuka had Shinra dangling off the floor by a foot, or that her 'lover' was whimpering like a puppy. No, her attention was fixed on some anime and nothing was taking her away from it.

"I don't have to anywhere below the hips, I swear! There are other methods to use!"

"Hello!~ Hello!~ Anybody home!~"

Everyone froze at that voice and their heads turned to the doorway to see Izaya standing there, staring at Shinra and Shizuka in shock.

"Zuka-chan, what are you doing to Shinra?~"

Without thinking of what he was going to say, Shizuka stated, "He wanted to get in my pants."

The doctor sputtered out negatives and Celty was standing, waving her hands back and forth.

"Shinra tried to take advantage of you?!~" Izaya wailed, looking at Shinra in horror.

"I though you were in love with Celty!~"

"I am! Shizuka came over here because she had some problems and I offered to give her a check up, but she took my offer the wrong way, I swear!"

Izaya looked over to Celty, who was nodding as she typed on her PDA. **{Honestly, she just took it wrong!}**

Izaya nodded slowly, "Good. I was gonna say, it'd be sad to kill you Shinra."

The doctor froze once more, still dangling from Shizuka's hands.

"I'm a twisted individual don't get me wrong, but even I don't condone such actions. You're lucky, Shinra."

All of this was said in the most chilling tone Shizuka had ever heard the smaller man speak in before. Izaya always used a playful and childish voice and only sometimes did he drop it for a serious situation, but even his 'serious tone' didn't compare to _that_.

Shizuka placed the doctor on the ground slowly and stepped away, making his way over to Celty, who had finally gone back to her seat on the couch.

"Should I got through with it?" he asked the headless female.

She typed.** {I think you should. You know, for future instances.}**

He sighed and turned to Shinra, "Fine. We'll do this your way. But if you try a damn thing, then the shit hits the fan and _you will suffer_."

He then marched past the informant and into Shinra's office where he conducted private check ups and operations at times. Better to get it all over with.

After an hour of embarrassing questions and weird procedures, Shizuka was a free man!

Celty's PDA was in his face. **{Are you?}**

He shrugged, "Completely and totally, believe it or not."

Izaya was looking at them in confusion and it was obvious that he did not enjoy being out of the loop. And informant unable to get information. How ironic.

**{Wow.}**

"Yeah," he agreed.

Izaya decided to cut in then, "Zuka-chan, how did you meet Shinra and Celty?~"

Shizuka slumped a little and chose to lie, "Celty helped me when I was in a pinch. She introduced me to the idiot not too long after."

"Hey!" Shinra gasped in protest, but no one paid him any mind.

Shizuka turned for the door and raised his hand as he walked away, "See you some time."

He did not care that Izaya's curiosity was no doubt peaked now. He just wanted to get home to shower.

* * *

Shizuka stared down at the small bottle in his hands. The small bottle that was in a small bag that even had a receipt in it. The receipt said that the bottle was purchased only two moments prior, but could he be too sure? The reason he was so skeptical, way because the small bottle that came in the small bag, came from Izaya of all people. Was it safe?

"Why did you give me this?" he finally asked, completely confused over the purpose of them.

The fur coated man shrugged, "They're supposed to help relieve your cramps.~"

The former blonde choked on his saliva and asked, "And _why _would you know whether or not I'm on my monthly?"

Izaya smiled, like their topic of discussion was _normal_. "You've been around for three months and I have calculated the time you receive it.~ Three weeks into the month and it lasts for four days.~"

Embarrassment colored in his cheeks. A monthly was disgusting to deal with, let alone to talk about with someone you had spent a good part of your life hating. Or at least strongly disliking.

"_Thanks_, I guess."

The bastard looked so pleased with himself. Shizuka wondered if he had done anything to the pills. And if he did, then what?

"Would Zuka-chan like to get some sushi with me?~ I'll pay!~"

Was he fucking four or something? Dammit!

Before he could deny, his stomach growled and Izaya's grin grew wider, if it was even possible.

"Excellent!~" he jeered, reaching out and grasping the taller man's hand and began pulling him down the street.

Shizuka was unceremoniously dragged into Russia Sushi and forced to sit at a small table in the far corner. What did the bastard want?

From the way they were seated, he could tell that Izaya had backed him into a corner and was sitting in a position that blocked the only _normal _escape route. _Normal _being the operative word. He could easily create an opening if he wanted. Walls weren't as strong as some people believed. He knew this from experience.

His sushi was placed before him and Izaya handed him some packets of sweetener. The bastard had already gotten his sushi eating habits memorized? Freaky.

Izaya gorged himself on fatty tuna, leaving Shizuka to eat in peace.

By the end of their dinner, Izaya paid the bill and proceeded to pull him from the restaurant, skipping along the way.

He stopped when they reached the park and turned to face Shizuka, "Thanks for going on a date with me, Zuka-chan!~ It was fun!~ See ya!~"

He was bounding away before the male stuck as a female could respond.

Date? That was not a date! Why the hell did he say it was a date?!

Although, Shizuka had never actually been on a date before, so he wasn't really one to talk. But still...that did not seem like a date in the least. Weren't dates supposed to have romance or something like that?

He growled in annoyance and proceeded to make his way home, purposely taking a twisted way through some alleys and doubling around a few times just to make sure Izaya wasn't stalking him from some hidden area.

At home, he checked his cellphone, which he refused to bring with him in the city. Izaya was an information broker and could probably trace the signal in the cell in some creepy manner. He didn't want everything pointing to him. Nope! Not at all!

A shower was lovely on his sore body, which was a courtesy of the monthly. Menstrual cramps sucked. He hated having a female body. A female body that _completely female_. Meaning he could even get pregnant, if he did..._that_...with a guy. He scoffed. Never going to happen.

He decided to go with the weirdness of the day and took a pill from the bottle that Izaya had bought for him. If he woke up in the morning, still in his bed and not traded off to some creep, then he knew they worked and that there was no ill intent behind them. Yep! The only way he'd know for sure.

A pill, the heating pad, a box of chocolate Pocky and a comfy king sized bed later, Shizuka was relaxing and ready to fall asleep at a moment's notice.

He turned over and groaned into the pillow. His feet hurt! Maybe he should buy those weird things that were made of gel or something like that. Weren't they supposed to help the feet?

He yawned and fell asleep, ready to just forget everything for a while.

* * *

**Omake:**

"Shinra, what can you tell me about Zuka-chan?~"

Izaya fixed the underground doctor with a piercing gaze, demanding answers.

"I-I'm sorry Izaya, but I don't have a file on her. She requested that I don't keep records of anything because she didn't want to risk her privacy being breached. Sorry."

That answer did not please the burgundy eyed man at all.

"Fine then~," he relented, wanting to move onto another subject.

He never gave Shinra a chance to relax because he suddenly asked, "Where's Shizu-chan?~"

Shinra frowned, which did not mean anything good. "Neither Celty or I have seen or heard from him in months. His cell just rings constantly. Tom hasn't even seen him, just said he got a call that Shizuo was ill and couldn't work until he was better."

Izaya twitched, "And why did no one inform me of this _sooner_?" His playful voice was gone now.

"Well, you don't even _like_ Shizuo. What's the point of telling _you_?" Shinra asked with a perplexed look.

Izaya almost told the man that he in fact did not _hate_ Shizu-chan, but decided against it. It wasn't time yet.

He made his way to the door. "See you, Shinra, Celty!~"

He needed to get back to Shinjuku. He had a blonde to find.

**A/N: Another one done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

*******Check out my other stories!_ Ikebukuro Miko_(Durarara/Inuyasha. Kagome/Kasuka, Izaya/Shizuo)_A Miko's Divergence_(Divergent/Inuyasha), _Madness_(Naruto/Inuyasha- Kagome/anyone O/S), _Kagome's Hobbit(The Hobbit/Inuyasha- Kagome/Bilbo), All Because of a Golden Flower(The Hobbit/Inuyasha- Kagome/Smaug), Kawaii Chibi Chara_(Shugo Chara/Inuyash- O/S), _It's My Life_(Inuyasha- Sesshomaru/Kagome), _King of Knights_(Vampire Knight/Inuyasha- Kaname/Kagome), _Jikan no Kami, Kagome_(Kamisama Hajimemashita/Inuyasha- Harem/Kagome), _Fire and Ice_(Avatar TLA/Inuyasha- Zuko/Kagome), _None But Himself can be His Parallel_(OHSHC/Inuyasha- Kaora/Kagome/Hikaru), _The Miko and Her Weapon_(Soul Eater/Inuyasha- Kid/Kagome), _**The Cicatrices Beneath the Veil**_**(Sasuke/Naruko recently updated), **_**Diminishing Orange Flame**_**(Naruko/Kakashi ongoing), **_**Problems**_**(Sasuke/Naruto ongoing), **_**Tabu Sensei**_**(Sakura/Kakashi ongoing), **_**The Rest is Still Unwritten**_**(Kakashi/Sakura ongoing), ************_Surge de Hydra_(SLASH, complete) Tom/Harry. _It's Okay Now_(SLASH, ongoing) Tom/Harry/Draco. _Friend or More?_(SLASH, ongoing) Tom/Harry. _Her Eyes_(ongoing) femHarry/Snape. _What's in a Name?_(ongoing) femHarry/Tom, _The Lonely_(SLASH, ongoing) Harry/Cedric and _Harry Potter and the Vampire's Ring_(SLASH, ongoing) Harry/Severus.****************

**Ja ne! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Durarara.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**Nakura:** Shizuo Heiwajima has been missing from Ikebukuro for months!~

**Yolo: **I know.

**Yolo:** It's so peaceful without him around.

**Himeo:** Not really.

**Himeo:** Without him walking around, the gangs are more violent and open with their attacks.

**Yolo:** I guess.

**Yolo:** But he's like a monster.

**Yolo:** At least the gangs are normal humans.

**Nakura:** I don't think he's a monster.~

**Nakura:** Just misunderstood.~

**Himeo:** Yeah.

**Himeo:** I mean, does anyone actually know him for real?

**Yolo: **Who cares?

**Nakura:** Gotta go guys!~

_~Nakura has left the chat~_

Izaya sat back in his chair and frowned. True enough, with Shizu-can being gone, the gang rate had increased and they were becoming full of themselves. Thinking that they were the rulers of the city. Izaya gave a humorless chuckle. If only those fools knew.

Izaya's last month was spent trying to find Shizu-chan, but there was nothing. He hadn't called anyone and sent two whole texts, which consisted of nothing of interest. He never took a bus or train somewhere and Shizu-chan didn't go online. Sure he was a member of the Dollars' but he never participated in any of the chatrooms available. He didn't use an email, no Facebook profile at all. No other sort of profiles either. Shizu-chan would be considered boring to teenagers, since he was so behind in the modern day and age.

But Shizu-chan wa snot boring in the least. He was fun!~ So fun to play with, because he could never react the way Izaya expected.

Out of all his lovely humans, Shizu-chan was the most interesting of all. Though a new person was quickly vying for the position of 'favorite' and that was Zuka-chan!~

He didn't know anything about her except what she had told him personally and what he observed, that was it.

She dressed like a bartender/secret agent and from her body language, did not like having large breasts. She also didn't like heels, because they made her noticeable among the crowd. Her hair was dyed black, originally it was brown. Her hair and eyebrows differed in color and that was how he knew. He didn't know her eye color yet. She liked smoking and hated milk of all kinds. Loved candy too much.

She knew Shinra and Celty. She was strong enough to lift Shinra a foot off the floor with one hand. She was concerned with staying fit and she worked toward fitness by walking miles around Ikebukuro everyday. She did not have a job, since he had followed her several times and knew that she only walked. He had no idea where she lived because he always lost her in the alleyways, which she seemed to know like the back of her hand.

She liked to pour sugar on her sushi, which made him shiver, because that was gross, no matter how he thought about it.

He saw he punch a guy out the other day and the force had sent him through a wooden bench. He couldn't help but feel that she was holding back. Especially since the next guy who groped her like the previous one did, found himself bashed over the held with a metal garbage can, which dented from the impact with his skull.

He only knew he first name, which was Shizuka. _Silent_. It worked, because she was quiet as a mouse and easily sneaked up on people, despite her enormous height difference to them.

She knew Parkour, though wasn't as good at it as he was but still. She avoided people by jumping over things and taking to rooftops to get around obstacles that would hinder her power walking.

She tried to ignore him as best as she could, put he was a persistent fellow and wouldn't let someone so interesting slip through his fingertips. She reminded him of Shizu-chan a bit. Mysterious and unnatural for a human. Yes, Shizu-chan was a human. He just told the blonde that he wasn't in order to rile him up. It was fun!~

Izaya stood from his chair and stretched, feeling his back pop in the process.

"Going to ruin someone else's life now?" Namie asked from her desk, where she was typing up some important information for him.

"Oh Namie, was that supposed to hurt my feelings?!~" he asked with a smile so fake, even _he _could feel how spurious it was.

"Not at all," she answered blandly. "I was just asking a simple question."

"Well for your information, I'm info hunting. Your pay for the day is in the drawer. Finish your work and you can leave right after.~"

He skipped from the room, taking some of his phones and his keys with him.

Izaya skipped the whole way to Ikebukuro, wondering if he'd see Zuka-chan or maybe Shizu-chan would pop out of the woodwork and surprise him. Probably not.

"Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan, why have you gone and left me?~ Why did you leave me in this boring city with the humans who have no originality?~"

He ignored the odd looks he was getting from people as he skipped. He was too focused on himself to care about their opinions of him.

Shizu-chan couldn't be dead because if someone had managed to kill him, they'd be bragging about it. He hadn't left the country, unless he was kidnapped. But no one but Izaya knew him well enough to set up something like that. And no one but Izaya would be capable of incapacitating him to accomplish such a thing.

Shizu-chan had been shot numerous times in the past and still managed to come out alive every time. Hit by trucks and walked away without injury. Slammed into buildings, attacked by fifty member gangs, taken metal bats to the head and so many other things that couldn't kill him. He wasn't an easy target. Sometimes, Izaya wondered if a nuke could take him out or not. He wouldn't risk Shizu-chan in order to find out, though.

What would he do without his favorite?

Izaya was drawn from his musings when he noticed a familiar head of dark hair, towering over the crowd of pedestrians. He giggled to himself and skipped on over to Zuka-chan's side.

"Hello, Zuka-chan!~"

* * *

Shizuka flinched as Izaya's voice rang through his head. The flea appeareth. Ugh!

"What?"

The shorter male appeared at his left side. Izaya's head level with his mouth. He was so fucking short.

"Would Zuka-chan like to go for a walk with me?~"

The former bartender growled lowly, "Can you ask me like a normal person? That voice makes me want to punch you to shut you up."

Izaya's grin died and Shizuka felt satisfaction.

"Will you go for a walk with me, Shizuka?"

His mouth dropped at the sudden seriousness that overcame Izaya. "Who told you that you could be so familiar with me?"

"Well, you haven't told me your _whole name_, so I'm just going with what I have."

The bastard just wanted information, didn't he? Shizuka scoffed inwardly, knowing that Izaya would never find Shizuka Hei no matter how much he tried.

"Fine. Shizuka Hei. There you go."

Shizuka had never seen Izaya smile the way he was smiling. It was always a creepy or devious kind of grin, but this one looked genuinely happy. Weird.

"Thank you for telling, Shizuka," his smile morphing into a smirk.

Shizuka scoffed. Bastard. He started walking away and looked back when Izaya wasn't following. "Are you coming or not?" he asked gruffly.

And thus began the very awkward, at least for Shizuka, walk through Ikebukuro.

* * *

Another walk around town with the flea. Another stop at Russia Sushi where he paid again.

At least the bastard dropped that fake ass act of his. It made tolerating him a lot easier than normal. And he kept giving Shizuka all these damn strange looks. What the fuck were they about?

He lounged on his bed, wondering what the fuck was going on with the bastard. Was he ill or something? And why did Shizuka care at all?

He man heard his front door open and a voice call out, "Shizu-nii?!"

Kasuka!

Shizuka rolled off the bed quickly, tripping and hitting the floor. He got to his feet and moved to put something less revealing on. Such as one of his really long dress shirts for when his body was male. Of course with such huge breasts in the way, it wasn't as large as it should have been.

He couldn't care less about wearing no bra, just so long as he wasn't naked. He threw on a pair of slacks and buttoned them up as quickly as he could, before leaving the bedroom and hoping beyond all hope that Kasuka didn't get the wrong idea.

He found his little brother in the living room, looked around what could only be described as Kasuka's version of frantically.

The brunette turned to him and his mouth actually dropped.

"I-I didn't know Shizu-nii had company."

Shizuka nearly smirked at flush creeping over Kasuka's cheeks, but held it in. It was a serious moment and his little brother was worried for him.

"Kasuka, I'm Shizuo."

The brunette stared for a moment and Shizuka had to wonder if he believed him or not. It was a pretty farfetched statement.

"What happened when I ate Shizu-nii's pudding?"

The man huffed, remembering that day, it was bad for so many reasons. Demon strength revealed, broken neck for the first time and Kasuka ate his pudding. Worst day of his life.

"I lifted a fridge over my head but the the cord ripped from the wall and hit me in the neck, breaking the vertebrae and I dropped the fridge on myself. All the while _you just sat there_ like nothing was going on, eating _my chocolate pudding_ that clearly had _my name on it_ and staring at me as I threatened you. You were weird as a kid, you know that Kasuka?"

Kasuka's guarded expression disappeared and he looked his big brother up and down. "What happened to you?"

Shizuka plopped onto the couch. "I visited a doctor friend of mine who likes to experiment. He neglected to tell me that he had put whatever it was, in the strawberry milk carton and I drank it. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with these things!" he explained, gesturing to the breasts. "I'm currently female in every sense of the word and it sucks. Though in the bright side, I haven't been super violent as of late."

Kasuka looked him over again. "Do you need help at all?"

He shrugged, "Well, since Shinra is the cause for all of this, he's taking care of everything. My bills, groceries and other such things. He said it was the least he could do. Anyway, I wear blue contacts, I dyed my hair black to get away from Izaya and to lose the half brown half blonde effect. It pissed me off."

"And you have proper clothing?" Kasuka continued, probably preparing a questionnaire.

"Yes. Shinra took care of that too. Pretty much the same as my normal outfit, but for females."

"Do you go outside at all?"

"Yes and every time I do, Izaya finds me! Luckily, he can't find any information on Shizuka Hei, so he's pretty much at a dead-end unless I tell him more about myself. He thinks I'm some new woman to Ikebukuro and has pretty much stalked me every time he sees me. He's a creep, I'm telling you."

There was a weird and unfamiliar look in Kasuka's eyes. "Has he asked you out?"

"For sushi, but that's it. He likes to following me around as I walk though."

"And how does he act?"

"Well, after I asked him to drop the childish antics, he no longer does the kid voice thing and he stopped skipping, thank Kami. Oh yeah, when he nicknamed me Zuka-chan - I hate it buy the way - he said he couldn't nickname me Shizu-chan because he already had one in his life. He then said he didn't hate me. Shizuo me. What the hell did that mean?"

Kasuka was quiet for a moment, letting his brother stew in his confusion.

"It sounds as if he is enamoured of your feminine form."

Enamoured? Shizuka turned to look at his brother and gave him that universal, 'what the fuck' face. "WHAT?!"

Kasuka shrugged. "He asked you out, followed you around, and gave you a nickname," he listed.

"He already did that even when I was fully male! And they weren't dates!"

"Whatever you say, Shizu-nii."

* * *

"Shizuka, did you ever want children?"

The former male looked at the information broker. They were in Russia Sushi. The third time that week. Seriously, why were they there again? Why did Izaya keep asking him to go for sushi?

"Yes. Though I never really considered myself good enough for have kids of my own. People tend be scared of me for one reason or another."

Izaya was giving him a look he didn't understand.

"Why would people be afraid of you? I mean, you are kind of tall, but that's not enough to be scared."

Shizuka leaned back in his seat and shrugged, "I guess I'm too different and people do fear what they don't understand."

Wow. Listen to him spouting philosophical shit.

"Well, I like you, so everyone else doesn't matter."

Shizuka leaned back in his seat as Izaya entered his personal space. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"I have Celty and to a really long extent, Shinra as well, you know."

Izaya smiled as he shifted even closer, "Yes, but they are your friends and understand you. I mean anyone who doesn't want to understand you, doesn't matter. Besides, you don't need them if they don't need you."

"_Riiiiiiiiight_."

Shizuka's back hit the seat and he flushed, not understanding why the flea was getting in his space and practically sitting in his fucking lap dammit!

"_Zuka-chan, may I_?" Izaya all but purred, like a creep.

"May you what?"

What did the bastard want? And why couldn't he ask for it from his own damn seat?

And then Izaya's hand was _caressing _his cheek! Literal rubbing it and everything!

"Something I've always wanted to try," Izaya whispered.

_He's kissing me! The fucking flea is gay! Wait! He doesn't know who I really am! He's kissing the female me! Dammit it all to hell and beyond! Fuck you Izaya! Fuck you now and always!_

Izaya pulled away and smiled. "I've been wanting to try that for the last week. You taste like ginseng, Zuka-chan."

Shizuka was staring at the info broker, "Why did you do that?"

Izaya returned to his own seat, "I've never kissed a girl before and I wanted to know if it was different with girls compared to guys. I've never wanted to actually _kiss _a girl before, let alone because I actually wanted a kiss them because I _liked _them. You're my first, Zuka-chan!"

_He really is gay! Holy fuck!_

Shizuka growled and wiped his mouth before taking a sip of his tea. "Of course my first kiss is with a short stalker."

"I am not short!"

"But you're a stalker, huh?"

"W-well," Izaya looked away and Shizuka noticed that he was flushing.

"Ha! You totally _are _a stalker!"

"Zip it, Zuka-chan!"

* * *

Izaya slammed his head off the desk. He kissed a girl earlier. A female. Someone that wasn't supposed to make him sexually interested because he liked men. But he did it, and for the oddest reason he couldn't understand, he liked it. Why?

Was it because she reminded him of Shizu-chan? He didn't know why, but she just did.

What was going on? Izaya wasn't supposed to like girls! He most certainly didn't like Namie. She was a devil woman and an awful person. Not that he was any better but there was something about her creepy lust/love/like thing for her brother that just turned him the wrong way.

Izaya unlocked the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a small wallet sized photo of Shizu-chan.

"Shizu-chan, where have you gone?~ Why am I suddenly interested in girls now that you're away from me?!~ Come back!~"

His head hit the desk again. Dammit.

**A/N: Another one done! *****WORRY NOT. SHIZUO WILL BE BACK TO MALE FORM BY THE END.*******

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out all of my other stories!**

**Ja ne! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Durarara.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. THE LINK IS ON MY PROFILE. I FOLLOW BACK.**

* * *

"Hello, Zuka-chan!~"

Shizuka cursed his rotten luck. Couldn't he go anywhere in the fucking city without the flea finding him?! It was like he deliberately went outside to seek Shizuka out, and it was getting annoying!

After taking a deep breath, Shizuka merely replied was, "Hn."

The brunet skipped alongside him as he walked, arms swinging in a mockery of an excited child. He looked like an idiot.

"You wouldn't be headed to Sunshine 60 today, would you?" the flea asked suddenly, not using his girly, piss ant tone.

"I walk to wherever gives me least problems," Shizuka answered.

"Then I suggest staying away from that district today, or you'll get caught up in some not good things."

Shizuka stopped and stared at Izaya, who also stopped, looking dead serious.

"And let me guess, you orchestrated whatever is going to happen, huh?"

Izaya smirked playfully. "Why Zuka-chan, the first rule in life is to 'never admit to anything'."

Shizuka huffed. He thought it was 'never eat off the floor', but maybe their priorities were different.

"Fine," the tall male/female agreed with an eyeroll.

Izaya's eyes practically sparkled. "Great!~ Bye, Zuka-chan!~"

He bounced forward and pecked Shizuka's cheek, before dashing off.

Shizuka stood there, glaring at the fluff wearing bastard's back as he got further away.

The fuck was that about?

* * *

"My talented courier!~" Izaya cheered as he stepped up to Celty, who was sitting astride her bike.

**{What do you need, Izaya?}**

"I am in need of your services this evening. Sunshine 60 will be quite the hotspot and someone I have in mind will need a little rescuing.~"

Izaya provided a photo, allowing Celty to take it and study it closely.

She handed the photo back and he traded over two envelopes. "The first is your pay, the second is for her. Nine fifteen on the dot, please?~"

Celty's helmet moved down quickly.

"Perfect!~"

He watched as she rode away, and thought about how _she _would take it all.

_Not well_, he supposed.

* * *

Shizuka was not a happy man. In fact, he wanted to rip off the dicks of all the bastards who surrounded him while he was walking. They looked like low level thugs, which meant low intelligence. Cannon fodder at most.

"Get her!" the 'boss' yelled, pointing at him.

The first idiot that condemned himself to a life of quadriplegia, was blonde. He charged Shizuka with a raised fists, swinging like an imbecile as he gave a battle cry.

Shizuka grabbed his hand easily and snapped it, relishing in the man's shocked cry. He picked the idiot up and tossed him across the road, listening as he crashed through a window.

The next four came at once, and Shizuka simply jumped high, allowing them to all slam into each other. He bought his leg down in a quick ax kick on his descent, taking down another in mere seconds.

"She's just some bitch, she shouldn't be this hard to get!" the 'boss' yelled.

Shizuka spun in a circle, his leg lashing out and knocking another assailant into three others. All four landed hard, with loud cries.

He spun once again, redirecting a punch that had been aimed for his face. He took a second to notice how much shorter the gang members were compared to him. He had to be one of the tallest people in Ikebukuro.

With a roll of his eyes, Shizuka grabbed the last attacker by the back of his jersey and heaved him over his head. The 'man' was sent flailing into a nearby store window.

Shizuka calmly turned to the 'leader' and cocked a brow in challenge.

The coward was shaking and he let loose a feminine scream of terror, before throwing down his pipe and running away.

Shizuka was not feeling merciful. He'd been cornered by a gang and if he was seen letting one go free without getting a beating, people would think his female self was kind. Or soft. He wouldn't allow that to happen. He may have hated violence, but also hated being perceived as weak. That wouldn't fly.

So Shizuka gave chase after his quarry.

The man wailed again when he realized that Shizuka was in hot pursuit. The former blonde couldn't have cared any less as he used a trash bin to launch himself into the air, landing on a nearby truck which was going in the same direction at his prey.

Shizuka crouched down and pushed himself off the vehicle, landing a few feet behind the idiot that dared attack him.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**!"

Cowardly fucker.

"Get your wimp ass back here!" Shizuka yelled in response.

The bastard could run, Shizuka would give him that. But how was he not running out of gas yet? Shizuka had years of experience with chasing Izaya around the city, so he didn't need an explanation for his stamina.

And it was about forty seconds into the district of Sunshine 60, that Shizuka knew something was wrong.

He'd been warned away from the place and yet somehow chased some thug all the way over to that part of town. And when an enormous group of thugs that made the former group look small, appeared, he knew this was a set up.

He was going to whoop Izaya's ass!

And the one guy had a fucking gun, dammit!

"Give me my girl's ice or else," the idiot demanded, much to Shizuka's confusion.

Shizuka dived behind a truck just at the right moment. Shots rang out and people screamed, scattering in the streets. Shizuka's eyes trailed around the area. How the fuck was he going to get out of this situation without giving himself away?

No lifting vending machines, cars, trucks, or trash receptacles. That left him severely outnumbered and disadvantaged. How many of them had guns? This was all Izaya's fault and the flea was getting a foot up the ass when it was over.

Shizuka was _in no way_, dying today.

Car, car, truck, pole, pole, car, pedestrian, store, trash, pedestrian, and yet _nothing _he could use to defend himself with! **FUCK**!

He looked at his watch. Nearly nine. Damn, he'd run for a while.

He shifted as he heard footsteps getting closer. They were closing in on his position!

He glanced to the side and did a double take. Ladder. On the truck. Not one to pass up a chance to be safe, Shizuka climbed it in two large steps, flattening himself against the top of the truck, hoping the thugs didn't see him.

The truck started suddenly and began moving.

"Where did she go!"

"Where is she?!"

Shizuka rolled over a bit and looked over the edge, seeing the thugs spreading out on foot, not looking in his direction or even anywhere above ground level.

He laid back with a sigh. All he had to do now was find Izaya.

_Ca-chinka._

He frowned and moved again. The noise repeated and he looked around.

Shizuka shifted and rummaged through his pockets, finding something he didn't remember putting in the left.

A baggie of white powder and a… _diamond necklace_?!

Was that what the guy wanted? The necklace? Wait, what the hell was in the bag? He opened it and took a long look. Sparkly, near clear stuff. Like snow, or shaved ice.

How the hell did it end up on his person. No one could have gotten close enough to shove it in his pocket. He'd seen no one but… IZAYA!

What the hell did Izaya shove in his fucking pocket?!

Shizuka scoffed. He wasn't keeping it. Maybe he should just dump it in the trash and leave it alone. He didn't want to be a part of Izaya's ridiculous games.

Why keep a priceless piece of jewelry in a bag of white stuff?

He closed the bag and contemplated it. Maybe it was a cleaner of sorts. He didn't know much of jewelry, but he was certain he'd seen the stuff before. On one of his jobs with Tom. Toward the not so classy side of town.

Yeah. The guy didn't have his amount ready and shoved a large clear bag of white stuff into Shizuo's hands and told him he could sell it for several thousand and that would pay for everything. When he returned to Tom with the bag, Tom had dropped his cigarette and gaped, before taking the bag to the police and informing them that it was their 'payment' from a debt owner. Gave the address over and everything.

It was disposed of, which meant it was illegal. And it was in Shizuka's pocket!

He blanched.

He couldn't be caught with it _or_ the diamond!

He shoved the bag in between his breasts and situated them together to appear normal. Nothing was out of place. It was all okay.

When the truck came to a stop a few minutes later, he carefully jumped down to the ground, ignoring the shrieks of shock from some people. He needed a public restroom and quick!

With practiced ease, he sauntered down the pavement, trying to locate a place to dispose of the bag.

He cut across the road and entered a small mini mart.

When the bag was flushed he washed his hands a few times just to be sure. He then bought himself a pack of cigarettes and lit three at once. It was a three fag problem. He took a deep drag and sighed. The drama was over.

Good.

"Zuka-chan!~"

He crushed the newly purchased stress relievers and turned slowly to face the absolute bane of his existence.

"_You_," he growled, though it came out a bit choked because of his feminine voice.

Izaya didn't look so threatened. He seemed to be gauging Shizuka's actions. Though he had used that ridiculous voice, he seemed more serious.

"Give me a good reason why I don't shove my foot up your manipulative ass!"

Izaya adopted an innocent expression that just pissed Shizuka off that much more! "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Zuka-chan. I don't admit to anything incriminating, remember?"

That bastard!

Shizuka lunged, growling when the flea danced back. Izaya then moved forward, which Shizuka hadn't been expecting that because Izaya always remained a fair distance. Suddenly, both of his hands were caught together and cold metal followed by a _chink_, entered his conscious thought.

He looked down, finding a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. He gaped. What the fuck was the dirt covered flea up to?!

Soft hands - Izaya really did have girly hands - touched his face and he tried to jerk back. But for some unexplainable reason, the flea decided to use his deceptive strength and keep Shizuka from moving. He tried to kick the asshole, but huffed when he missed.

"I wanted to try this without possibly getting hit. I hadn't planned this way, but it'll do," Izaya whispered, leaning closer.

Shizuka instinctively leaned away, trying to keep space between them, but Izaya's damn plans didn't allow that.

For the second time in his life, he was kissed… by the flea.

It was awkward, at least from his perspective. And Izaya wasn't doing much else. No tongue or movement, simply a press. And it was too damn much!

When Izaya pulled away, Shizuka did his best to spear the ass with the worst glare he could muster. The one that made people run from him in terror. At least when he was normal.

"Shizuka, will you go on a date with me?"

"Why the fuck would I go with you when I seriously just went through hell because of you?" Shizuka demanded. "And I don't care if you won't admit to doing it, this whole shitty situation has your name all over it."

Izaya looked at him for a minute before shrugged, "I'm paying."

That was the best he had?

He was paying for it? Not that Shizuka wanted to pay for it, but still. The best reason he could come up with?

And why the hell would he even want to go anywhere with the flea?

They stared at each other for several silent seconds, before Shizuka ripped his bound hands away from the bastard and proceeded to walk away. It would do his blood pressure better to get away from the asshole before the shit hit the fucking fan.

* * *

Izaya blinked as Shizuka walked away. He wasn't expecting that as a response. She wasn't even going to answer him!

Was she _that_ angry over it all? He was ninety percent positive that she would make it out of the situation without a scratch, and his hunch was correct. She was fine, so why was she so angry?

The telltale sound of Celty's otherworldly bike alerted him to her appearance. She stopped on the sidewalk, making the pedestrians scatter like the little bugs they were.

She shoved her PDA in his face and he sighed.

**{That was not the way to go about it.}**

"Really? I was just figuring that out for myself," he commented sardonically.

**{She's going to ignore you now. Whatever you're doing, and I think I know what it is, you aren't winning her affections by setting her up in deadly situations.}**

"Affection? Who said anything about affection, Celty?"

The helmet wearing Dullahan simply stared - at least he was sure she was staring - at him.

"I simply want to get to know her, that's all. I know next to nothing of great importance and it's getting to me. On top of that, _I can't find Shizu-chan_. I don't like not knowing things, Celty. I don't like _it one bit_," he said, fingering the blade in his pocket.

**{You _COULD_ do the normal thing and simply ask Shizuka. She may surprise you.}**

"Oh yes, the boring way." Izaya gave a reluctant sigh. "Fine."

**{And apologize to her! And mean it!}**

"I've never apologized for anything," he scoffed.

**{Then you will learn.}**

The Black Rider was gone in the next moment, leaving Izaya standing there to wonder at her ominous, parting words.

He looked off in the direction that Shizuka had gone and sighed once more. He had no experience in this department. So what to do?

* * *

Shizuka stormed Ikebukuro, looking for a place to cut the damn cuffs! But nowhere he went had something sharp enough. He'd already pulled two parking meters from the cement. Nothing was working!

"Zuka-chan!~ Can we talk about this?!~"

He stiffened in annoyance and hissed, "Why the hell should I listen to you, asshole?"

"I have the key."

Shizuka went through two breathing exercises of breathing in through the nose and exhaling through the mouth, before facing the flea. "And I'm to believe that that is _all _you want?"

Izaya was actually frowning, a contradiction his cheerful tone.

"Okay, 1.) I hadn't expected you to run so fast, 2.) Celty was late, and 3.) I may have miscalculated a bit."

Shizuka stared at him.

"So you fucked up," he said plainly, not beating around the bush.

Izaya's face colored a bit and he took a deep breath. "_Yes_," he said through gritted teeth. He looked a little constipated.

It was hilarious!

"And watch'ya gonna do about it?"

"Give you the key if you go to dinner with me?"

Shizuka snorted, "Try something else. You seem to want dinner and while I may be hungry, I can go days without food. Try again."

Izaya looked away, mouth contorting into various expressions.

"I'm ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. _Fuck_!"

Oh! Bad language from Izaya! That was a first.

The flea hand a hand through his hair and heaved a great sigh. "I'm sorry!"

Shizuka felt a little trickle of amusement. It must have been so hard to apologize. And it made him feel good to, for some reason.

He could ignore the situation… this time.

Izaya was still looking away from him.

"So where are you taking me?"

Crimson eyes widened and darted to Shizuka's face.

"And I want these damn things off. What the fuck are they made of, titanium?"

* * *

Izaya stared at the retreating back in confusion, for only a moment, before he managed to laugh.

Well if she wasn't the most interesting human aside from Shizu-chan.

His heart fluttered a bit.

Fluttered for a girl. Not a guy.

He was pretty sure he was still gay.

He had to be.

Right?

* * *

**A/N: Another one is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics.**

**Ja ne! :D**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. THE LINK IS ON MY PROFILE. I FOLLOW BACK.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello, people! Thanks for the great response to this fic.**

**I don't own Durarara.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. THE LINK IS ON MY PROFILE. I FOLLOW BACK.**

* * *

Celty Sturluson was watching a documentary on aliens, when Shinra - her lover- walked into the room.

"Hey, Celty!" he grinned, always happy to see her.

She waved and reached for her PDA that was resting on the coffee table. She typed out a message and held it up for his perusal.

He leaned over, shifting his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose.

"_Really_?!" he stepped back in shock. "Izaya really did that all to ask for a date?"

**{I think he was aiming for coming across as a hero of some sort. I was supposed to escort Shizuka to him after rescuing him from the gang. It didn't work out that way.}**

Shinra stared for a second, before gasping. "What if Izaya fell for the female Shizuo!"

**{I thought Izaya as gay.}**

"He is. But I always thought their little squabbles and talks had more meaning to them. Maybe since Shizuo doesn't look like himself, but still acts like himself, Izaya is attracted. I don't think Izaya would ever admit to being attracted to Shizuo, but Shizuka..."

Celty shrugged.

**{Well, Shizuo forgave him in return for the key and some food, so at least he made a little headway.}**

Shinra laughed, "Izaya has never dated before, so it'll be fun to watch his bumblings."

The Dullahan nodded and returned to her program.

* * *

Shizuka hadn't seen the flea in a week, not that he was complaining or anything.

"Zuka-chan!~"

He should have kept his damn thoughts to himself!

"Hn."

"This is for you!~"

Izaya shoved a bright pink bag in his face and Shizuka had to withhold the urge to gag. It was too bright. Too sparkly too. Ugh.

He took it carefully, pinching the top with only two fingers, as if afraid it would attack him. He gingerly peered inside and cocked a brow. What the hell was he going to do with that?

He looked to the flea, to see the idiot watching him expectantly.

It was pink, oblong, and severely bejeweled. It was hideous.

He took the iPhone 5 from the bag and openly stared at it.

"Let me guess, there's a chip in here that will allow you to stalk me from afar. Or you'll be able to locate me through my email or something."

He'd seen those shows. He knew what technology could do. And he was not interested.

Shizuka placed the phone back in the bag and handed it to Izaya, who was gaping.

"Thanks, but I don't do stalking and I don't need a phone. Nor one that's pink," he sneered.

He began walking away, intent on making his way to Russia Sushi for lunch.

He wasn't expecting Izaya to how up half an hour later, with a different bag, holding a different colored mobile.

"I won't stalk you," the flea stated simply as he sat across from Shizuka, caging him in once more, the ex-bartender noted.

"Can I really count on your word?" Shizuka asked after stuffing some ootoro in his mouth. "You're known to take the best price and all that shit. What do you get out of giving me a phone and not stalking my life with it?"

Izaya smiled and stole a piece of ootoro from Shizuka's plate.

"Well, Zuka-chan, I've managed to accrue some information about you from simple observation. I hope that the more we get to know each other, you'll be willing to part with more information!~" Izaya smiled.

Shizuka was interested, which usually wasn't a good thing. He sat back and looked Izaya over behind his sunglasses. "And what do you know?"

Izaya leaned back as well, situating one leg over the other, assuming a posture that Shizuka recognized. Something that higher ups took on to make themselves seem more powerful. And the smirk that the flea was giving him made a chill run down his spine. From being creeped out. _Definitely_.

Crimson eyes shone with a glint that made Izaya seem more threatening than previously assumed.

"Well, I know you are between the ages of twenty-three and twenty-five. You like sunlight, candy, and chocolate pudding. You've only hated milk until recently. You don't like alcohol. You know Parkour though it's a bit rusty in application. You are stronger than normal people and have rather strong morals, especially since you flushed fifty thousand dollars in Meth, without a second thought."

Meth.

The bag was filled with Meth.

He was so glad he got rid of it. But that didn't mean he had super morals. It meant that he didn't want to get landed in jail because of the flea's actions.

"You're also very tolerant," Izaya smiled.

Not really.

"And nice."

Definitely not.

"And even I have to admit that you're rather lovely."

_Suuuure_. Wait, what?

His confusion must have shown, because Izaya was reduced to laughter and tears. "Zuka-chan, until I met you, I was certain that I was gay and would never be interested in women. And yet look at me now."

The flea _was _gay! He knew it!

And yet, the whole following Shizuka - whom he thought was a girl - around, was not the mark of a gay man. And he said something about not liking girls until he met… Shizuka.

Fuck.

Of course Izaya was the sick kind of twisted that fell for his enemy, without knowing it was his enemy.

Shizuka stared at the informant, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this. He was still a man. And he was pretty certain he'd never been interested in anyone before. And he was not about to sleep with the enemy. Fuck no.

The two stared at each other. Izaya looked to be waiting for something and Shizuka was trying to think of a way to get out of it all.

"I knew you were gay."

That was the best he could come up with at present.

Izaya smiled that creepy, all knowing shit grin of his. "Not anymore Zuka-chan. It seems that I'm Bisexual now. How interesting for me."

"Good for you," Shizuka mumbled, "Hope you find someone you like, I guess."

What the hell do you say when the flea of all people confesses his sexuality to you?

"I'm working on her. She seems to be a bit slow though," Izaya smirked.

"Oi! I'm not slow, I'm just not interested, asshole!"

Well, fuck.

Izaya was leaning across the table then, hand slowly circling around Shizuka's wrist. "Zuka-chan, I can achieve anything so long as I put my mind to it.~ And I will not simply give up just because you are being stubborn."

He slapped something on the table and stood. "See you later!~"

Shizuka stared for a moment, before realizing that Izaya had left money to pay for the 'monster's' food. If he thought that was going to work, he would surely be sore to find out that that was not the case.

And the phone was left there as well.

Persistent bastard.

* * *

"Celty, he admitted he's coming on to me. What the hell do I do?"

**{I know you may not think so, but Izaya isn't so bad of a person. Perhaps he just really likes you.}**

"No, he likes a figment that doesn't truly exist."

**{You exist. You even said yourself that he admitted to not hating you at all. That must mean something!}**

"Celty, I'm not interested in the flea. I just want to go back to normal and live life like I used to."

Not true. He kind of liked the significant lack of danger. People didn't know he was Shizuo Heiwajima. Life was a bit easier to deal with. But he couldn't really connect with the other people in his life because of his… affliction. Which was a bit worse than his former affliction.

**{I don't know what to tell you, Shizuka.}**

"And I have no idea what to do."

* * *

**Nakura:** I heard that Izaya Orihara seeing someone!~

**Yolo:** What?! Someone actually is willing to get close to him? He's no better than Heiwajima.

**Yolo:** Whoever they are, they must be insane.

**Himeo:** Not really.

**Himeo:** Maybe he's finally found someone to see him for who he really is.

**Yolo: **You're a hopeless romantic.

**Yolo: **Orihara is just as much a monster as Heiwajima is. Maybe even worse, since he sets all the problems up.

**Yolo: **There is no good in him.

**Nakura:** I agree with Hime-chan!~

**Nakura:** Maybe Izaya Orihara finally has something he cares about besides humans?

**Himeo:** It's possible.

**Himeo:** I hope it works out for him.

**Yolo: **You both are nuts. Orihara has no heart and never will have one.

**Nakura:** In your opinion.

**Nakura:** Gotta go! See ya!~

_~Nakura has left the chat~_

Izaya sat back in his swivel chair and sighed.

He had lied, but he was hoping to make it truth soon.

Izaya was going through a difficult time, because he didn't know how to woo women. Men were much easier to please… or blackmail, whichever worked at the moment.

Shizuka wasn't normal. She didn't react like other women did. And she apparently didn't like pink like most of the girls in Ikebukuro did. so buying her pink things was out.

He could get her a lifetime supply of candy. She sometimes carried bags of it around and simply ate it. Pudding too.

She knew he was manipulative. She knew he could put on a mask in seconds and outfox anyone. She was not fooled. He had to be honest.

This had never happened before.

Sure, there was Shinara, Kida, Dota-chin, and many, many others who knew what he was like. And the only person who had mattered before in terms of sort of liking, was Shizu-chan. But he wasn't trying to gain their positive attentions. He messed with them.

But Zuka-chan, she was a mystery wrapped in confusion.

She was a challenge and he liked having challenges. He was Izaya Orihara and he lived on learning new information.

He considered going to Celty for help, because he knew no other females that would provide good assistance as far as wooing was concerned.

Namie was a creepy, incestuous stalker. Mairu and Kururi were stalkers of another breed, but they only like Shizu-chan's little brother and each other. His mother wasn't one who inspired motherly affection and good advice. Celty was literally the best choice, and she wasn't even human. How ironic that he was getting advice about humans, from a non-human entity.

He met up with her the next day and was completely baffled.

**{Just continue doing whatever you are doing. She complains about you less and less as time goes by.}**

That was it? That was her great advice?

**{Shizuka has extremely simple tastes. She doesn't need much. She's never really had anyone to constantly come around and care about her health or day or ask her out, so she's new to this.}**

Izaya loved his humans but he had to admit, they were idiots. How could they not see how amazing Zuka-chan was?

He sighed. "Thanks for trying, Celty."

She shrugged and rode off, leaving him to contemplate future actions.

He'd go with the bag of candy, first.

* * *

**A/N: Another one is done! So Izaya is determined and Shizuka isn't interested... yet.**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics,**

**Ja ne! :D**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. THE LINK IS ON MY PROFILE. I FOLLOW BACK. **


End file.
